So, yesterday was my birthday. I’m not telling you because I’m looking for your well wishes (although I wouldn’t mind it)—I’m mentioning it because age is such a tricky little bugger for a lot of us.
It’s one of those things I’d like to say I’m totally cool with, but ya know what? I’m not. Sure, once the day passes, I move on with my life, but as most of my close friends can tell you, I’m not one who loves my b-day. I am fully aware that it’s my thoughts about “the number,” that gets me every time, but those thoughts have a pretty tight grip on me. Each year it gets a little easier for me to embrace—in fact, this year I actually kept forgetting my birthday was even coming up. In general though, it takes effort on my part to clean up my thinking. Let’s take a look at why age seems to be a sore spot for so many. I will volunteer my own pesky thoughts to show ya how it works…
I am 39—yikes! To my 4 year old who guessed I was turning 7, 39 seems old. To someone older than me, it may seem young. Being 39 is actually completely neutral though. It actually has no meaning until we make it mean something. It’s the meaning we give it that creates our feelings.
So what do I mean by this? If I woke up and was suddenly thinking thoughts like, I love getting older, or I’m closer to 40, and it’s gonna be FABULOUS, I would probably feel better than when my mind wanders to the dark side. This year the big, bad, ugly thoughts that were most troubling for me were the ones about being in disbelief of how quickly time flies, and that I can’t believe I’m legitimately a grown-up—and have been for a while now. I don’t know about you, but my mind wants to keep me permanently stuck at 25. My mind also wants to think about how grown up my baby is, and that at this point, I’m most likely not having any more. I think about people who are no longer in my life, and how much life is constantly changing. The thought of inching closer and closer to 40 also terrifies me even thought I know plenty of people 40 and older who are pretty fantastic. I get nostalgic about the past, and think about different chapters of my life.
Can you see how if we don’t actively manage our thoughts, they have the tendency to try and cause us pain? Like I always say, “Just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.” So in the spirit of taking my own advice, I’ve come up with some new thoughts about my age that feel a hell of a lot better than the ones that cranky voice in my head wants to wallow in. Getting older means I’m getting wiser, right?
In all seriousness though, I’m more content in life these days than ever before. Not much bothers me, and I’ve come a long way in that regard. I love my little family, and I have the best friends in the entire world. At 39, I feel way better about myself than I did when I was younger. I’m passionate about the work I do, and feel pretty damn awesome about what I’m putting out into the world. Each birthday I have is a celebration of my life, and I get to hear from everyone I love—how fun is that?! With each passing year, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, and am not afraid to just be me no matter what. My body feels strong, and physically I still feel great. At 39, life is good—and I wasn’t always able to say that. I have so much to be grateful for this year. Ahhhh, now that feels good!
Age really is only what we make it. Whether you’re 18 or 81, there’s always a way to see the good in wherever you’re at in life. Your age doesn’t have to slow you down either—in fact, my mom still runs four days a week and goes to the the gym regularly, and is more active than me—so maybe I’ll actually gain energy with age!
We are never the same exact person we were yesterday, and we are ever-evolving. We are all going to age—it’s inevitable. When we hate it, we are once again just arguing with reality, which as you know by now, never feels good. It’s not about the wrinkle on your face or “where you are in your life,” unless you make it that. Like a fine wine, we get better with age, and if you struggle to find the good in it, you can simply make it mean—you’ve just taken another trip around the sun!
That’s it—that’s all I got for ya!
Happy birthday to me, and happy day to you!
