Jumping to conclusions is something most of us do every day without even realizing it or thinking about it. More often than not, doing so, leaves us feeling unhappy.
Those conclusions we often make, are just thoughts—and like always, our feelings come from our thoughts. When we add meaning to certain circumstances, we are often left with icky feelings.
So, what am I talking about? Let’s think about some examples. Someone’s partner points out an area they’d like the other to work on, and she immediately thinks, So I must be a horrible person. Another person’s boss makes a suggestion on how he could improve his work, and he assumes, I must not be good enough. Someone else who is in a new relationship doesn’t get the attention he desires and jumps to the conclusion, She must not like me as much as I like her. A different person isn’t invited to an event and concludes, My friend doesn’t care about me. See where I’m going with this?
It’s so easy to jump to conclusions, but those assumptions just about always shine a light on our own insecurities, and not the true meaning behind things. Maybe your partner would just like to help you live up to your highest potential. Maybe your boss just wants to help you out so you can get that promotion you want. Maybe your new love interest doesn’t want to come on too strong. Maybe your friend adores you and is trying to spare you from spending time with people you don’t like.
The truth is, the only person’s intentions you can be certain of, are your own. Everyone else’s are a mystery really unless they share them with you. And even then many folks still choose to believe their own theories.
When we add meaning to other people’s words and behaviors we are essentially creating pain for ourselves (unless we’re regularly jumping to conclusions that we are absolutely fabulous in every way possible). If we don’t wanna regularly be left feeling crappy about such scenarios, we must try questioning whether or not we know for sure our conclusions are true.
Do you know for a fact that just because someone didn’t compliment you, they must think you look awful? Do you know for a fact you’re the only one hurting from the loss of a relationship? Do you know for a fact that person intentionally did something to hurt you?
In most cases the conclusions we jump to couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s actually pretty silly to think about how much time is spent assuming we know other people’s intentions or opinions. The only way to know for sure though, is to ask—so if you don’t intend to do so, remind yourself that the meaning you are adding to a circumstance is most often just in your head.
Are you experiencing crappy feelings? Think about the conclusions you regularly jump to. If they’re usually along the same lines, maybe it’s time to take a look at the opinions you have of yourself and others. You might actually learn a little somethin’ somethin’ about yourself by doing so and also realize maybe just maybe, not everyone is out to get you!
That’s it—that’s all I got for ya!
Happy day!
