The other day, as I walked through midtown Manhattan, I had a little bounce in my step because it was an absolutely gorgeous day, and I felt grateful to be outside. I paused for a moment, and looked up. For just a moment, I felt what I felt when I first moved here over 14 ½ years ago. This got me thinking about how easy it is for people to take their lives for granted on a day to day basis, and how easy it is to get caught up in thinking “the grass is always greener.”
When I made my big move from Ohio to NYC, every day was an adventure. I could not have been more excited that the the office building I worked in was right in between Rockefeller Center and Times Square. Passing the Today Show’s studio on my way to work each morning was one of the many highlights of my day. Now I avoid that part of town at all costs. So what changed? It certainly isn’t the complete chaos of that neighborhood. It’s me, and my thoughts about it.
My 22 year old self thought about how exciting it all was, and those thoughts made me giddy. My 37 year old self (yes, I just admitted my age and am working on being fine with getting older, but that’s a whole other blog post), thinks the crowds are annoying, and everyone is in my way. Those thoughts make me feel agitated. Same circumstance, different thoughts, different feelings.
So, an exercise I often do, is ask myself how I want to feel in a certain situation. While I was walking around Midtown earlier in the week, I decided I wanted to not only be grateful for the beautiful weather, but I wanted to feel giddy about my life in NYC again. I took a deep breath and tried to remember what it felt like to walk those streets with the excitement I once had, and it felt amazing…so much better than wishing everyone would just get out of my way so I could get from point A to point B.
One of my mentors announced in class one day that she often suffers from jealousy of others. This shocked me because I admit I am sometimes jealous of her and her accomplishments. This just reinforced how challenging it can be to realize how amazing we each are as individuals and how fabulous our lives are, and for all the things of which we should feel proud and grateful.
I have a friend who doesn’t live in NYC, and she regularly jokes that she wishes she had my life, while I often find myself fantasizing about the burbs because it’s really easy to want what you don’t have. The perfectly filtered photos on Facebook/Twitter/Instagram, of the perfect family on the perfect vacation/in the perfect new home/on the perfect holiday, make it even easier. Wanting what you already have is the work that is often neglected.
Again, we as humans struggle to see the beauty that already exists in our lives. Being present whenever possible is key. Instead of letting yourself get pissed off because someone cut you off while you were driving, sing that great song out loud that’s on the radio. Instead of getting annoyed at your child for acting silly when you want her do something, remind yourself, she’s not going to be two forever and enjoy how carefree and fun she is. Instead of telling yourself you are too tired to exercise, be grateful that you actually can exercise.
It’s so easy to take things for granted. I look back on my college years and know I had a blast, but did I really know how good I had it at that time? I was free to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted for the first time, and my only real responsibility was going to class and studying. In hindsight, I wish I could have savored every single moment. When I was single in my 20’s with no children, and no one to worry about but myself, I spent a whole lot of time doing just that…worrying about myself and my life. If I could have known then what I know now, I would have enjoyed that time in my life a lot more. I don’t ever want to look back on today and think that.
Someone once said, “Yesterday’s the past. Tomorrow’s the future. But today is the gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Make a note of all the wonderful things in your life, big and small. Try and view your life as an outsider would. I can guarantee someone else thinks your life seems pretty awesome, just like you may think of someone else’s. Open your eyes and notice what’s good! We will always have ups and downs, but focusing on the little things that make you smile will help make your days a little brighter. Life is great…I want exactly what I have! Try it on for size, and see how your attitude will change 🙂
Happy day everyone!
