There are certain qualities in others that I admire…OK, well maybe I can get sucked into feeling a teeny tiny bit envious at times too. When I’m invited to a new mommy friend’s home, and they have the perfect photo display, I can get triggered. When I go to a dinner party, and the table is set immaculately, there are beautiful flowers in every room, and there is perfect music, and perfect food, I may have thoughts of inadequacy. When I browse Facebook on a snow day and read about moms painting snow and making color foam and homemade playdough, and terrariums, and valentines, it makes me think.
I’m just not a Pinterest mom. What I mean by that is, I’m no Martha Stewart. It just doesn’t come naturally or easily for me to plan far enough ahead to find the perfect party favors. I don’t really think about what school I want my daughter to go to after nursery school two years from now. I talk about wanting to buy a new rug, media counsole, and throw pillows for four years before actually doing something about it (and still need a big nudge from my hubby). I often find myself scrambling for ‘the perfect dress’ the week before an event. I don’t think about what to make for dinner, until it’s time to eat, and I don’t think about sending a holiday card until we start getting them in the mail. I let my hubby plan the vacations, and take care of the groceries.
June Cleaver would be mortified by me, but ya know what? At this point in my life, I’m totally fine with it all. This is not to say that I don’t sometimes think about how nice it would be if I had all of that in me, but I just don’t, and I accept myself for who I am. In fact, I love myself for who I am!
I love that I can sit and watch a movie with my three year old on a snow day, and not feel guilty for letting her watch two hours of tv. I love that I am childlike enough to get bundled up and play in the snow with her. I love how patient I am with her. I love that I bake cookies with the dough that my husband and daughter prepared for me. I love that my baby tells me she loves me so much, and that I’m her best friend. I love that I encouraged my family to share what our favorite parts of the day were before bedtime, and now it’s routine. I love that my step daughter tells me I’m like a kid. I love that she likes when I help her with her homework. I love that I am present, and not always planning for tomorrow so I don’t miss today.
When we spend time comparing ourselves to others, it’s very easy to feel inadequate. When we try and be anything but who we are, life feels more difficult. When we try and ‘keep up’ all the time, it will always feel like crap.
It feels so much better to accept and love yourself as is. So why is it so difficult to do so? It’s because most people have had a lot of practice berating and belittling themselves for so many years that they don’t even notice themselves doing it. This is where paying attention to your thoughts becomes key. Without the awareness of all the nasty, evil thoughts most of us walk around with every day, it’s almost impossible to give yourself a little lovin’.
Once you start noticing these thoughts more, realize that they don’t serve you. They will never motivate you to be who you long to be. Notice them, but try not to entertain them. Know that they are just thoughts, and steer your mind away from them. Don’t hate them; just let them go. Once you get good at that, start noticing all the things that you do love about yourself, and give yourself permission to think you’re awesome!
Maybe one day I will get my act together enough to send out holiday cards…maybe I won’t. Either way, I’m good. I am who I am, and am proud. Instead of spending your days wishing you were different, work on accepting, loving, and celebrating yourself. You deserve to be happy just the way you are. This doesn’t mean you can’t desire change, but it should always come from a place of love. When we love ourselves unconditionally, life gets easier, change becomes easier, and happiness is inevitable.
Happy day everyone!
