So, this past weekend I took my girls to see the new Disney Pixar movie, Inside Out. I went in with high hopes, but what I took away from it, far exceeded what I ever could’ve imagined. I’m no movie critic, but I am completely in love with understanding the way our minds work, so the self-help nerd in me went crazy (in a good way)! Before I dive into that, let me first say, if you haven’t seen it yet, go…it was simply brilliant!!
The movie was about a young girl’s life, but for the most part took place in her mind. The main characters were her primary feelings: joy, sadness, fear, anger, and disgust. The movie chronicled what happens inside all of our minds, and what generally takes place as we grow up. The cute little cartoon somehow managed to simply convey what goes on in the human psyche. The tears flowed, both happy and sad (almost let out a couple primal sounds at one point), and I walked away with a lot to ponder. Who knew a ‘kids’ movie could be so thought provoking?!
The first thing I found intriguing, but not surprising, was that all but one of the feelings were negative. This is a fact for most people. As a life coach, I regularly help my clients gain awareness of all of the crappy thoughts that swarm around in their heads all day. It’s almost a constant battle in life for joy to emerge when people are plagued with so much negativity on a day to day basis. When we believe the thoughts that create sadness, fear, anger and disgust, it’s easy for the joy to get lost. The amount of energy we must put in at times for joy to be felt, is a lot more than just succumbing to our negative feelings.
In the movie, Joy works her little butt off to try and keep sadness, fear, anger and disgust under control. This is a true metaphor for most people in real life. Clients often complain that it’s just so difficult to be happy at times, and sometimes it is. The more we practice thinking thoughts that feel good, the easier it gets though.
Another prominent theme I picked up on in the movie, was how most people lose the silly, playful side with which we are all born. Children are born without inhibitions. It’s not until thought becomes more prominent, that we learn to be concerned with how we will be perceived, and that fitting in is what’s most important. When thought comes into play, the ability to live in the present moment gets tainted for the vast majority of folks.
When I observe my three year old singing as we walk down the street, dancing to the music in her head, or making silly faces in the reflection of a window, it’s a true testament to what life is like before we become consumed with thought. Thought is what creates embarrassment. Thought is what leads us to feel self conscious. Thought is what makes us lose that freedom to just be and act however we feel in any given moment without hesitation.
Our negative thinking patterns which create sadness, fear, anger, and disgust were born out of our desire to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, we are often tricked by that way of thinking, and in turn, create much unneeded turmoil for ourselves. This is not to say that we shouldn’t think about the thoughts that are creating our negative emotions, but we have the ability to decide if we need that protection in those moments. It becomes second nature for most to just believe their negative thoughts. With a little effort though, you can feel better and make more productive decisions when you choose to think happier thoughts, just like Joy did in the movie.
Another highlight for me was the fact that each character thrived on the emotion they represented. Sadness’s happiest moments were when she was sad. People often find comfort in the emotions that they have spent most of their lives feeling. Most don’t want to admit it, because who truly thinks they enjoy drama, insecurity, fear, anger, or whatever icky state you regularly find yourself experiencing?! Unconsciously people are drawn to those feeling states because it’s what they are used to, and it’s what they know. It takes a strong desire to feel better, to admit to oneself that in a weird way we like those negative feelings because it’s safe. That strong desire is also what will allow you to make changes for the better and bring more joy into your life.
Finally, one of the most thought provoking aspects of the film for me was the notion that without sadness, there is no joy. It may seem a bit counterintuitive, but in many cases it’s true. Through difficult situations in life, comes strength, wisdom, courage, and love. Without the downs in life, there would be little appreciation for the good times. I do believe that allowing yourself to feel sadness during trying times, is necessary in order to come through on the other side.
We all have those voices in our heads that tell us to proceed with caution, but maybe, just maybe, life doesn’t have to be taken so seriously all the time. When you try to live in the now, rather than get consumed by your thoughts, you have more feel good moments. Take note of all the negative thoughts you battle with each day in order to feel more joy. Try and use positive thinking to quiet those thoughts, which will in turn lessen the negative feelings and allow more joy!
Happy day everyone!
