While writing a previous blog post, I realized there are a bunch of things that are inherent in a baby, that we somehow forget as we age. I actually believe the knowledge we have when we are born is more important when it comes to living a happy life, than just about anything we learn in school. Here are two big life lessons…
Lesson #1-Happiness comes when we are in the present moment!
When I come home after a full day at work, Charlotte goes completely nuts. She is so excited to see me that she squeals with delight, and runs around the apartment. She even sometimes throws herself on her belly and rolls around on the floor. It’s like she can hardly contain herself! Now as a mom, this is one of the most ridiculously amazing ways to be greeted, but what amazes me most is that she is purely in the moment. She is not angry that I left her all day, or that I leave her for many hours a day, five days a week, she is just entirely in that moment when I walk in, and is simply thrilled that I am there.
People spend so much time dwelling on the past, and worrying about the future. These two things are toxic to our psyche. Thoughts like, “I wish that hadn’t happened”, “I’d be happier if this person had reacted in a different way“, “If only I had done things differently, I would be more successful now”, just make us feel crappy. If you take a minute to think about it, you would see that we get nothing positive in our lives from having thoughts like these. The things that have happened in the past are done. You cannot go back in time and change events, so it is a complete waste of time to dwell on them. The future is an even bigger illusion, because it hasn’t even happened yet. Everything you think about the future, and what may or may not happen, is a fantasy. The only thing you get from having thoughts like, “I’m scared I will never be successful”, “I’m worried I will never find love”, “What if I’m overweight for the rest of my life?”, are more crappy feelings.
Being in the present moment means acknowledging the things we are doing as we are doing them, accepting things as they are, and not arguing with reality. Paying attention to our thoughts is the first step in being more present. You are here now…take it in. Don’t miss out on today, because today is the only thing that is real in this moment!
Lesson #2-Be proud of your accomplishments, instead of putting yourself down!
I don’t know about you, but I have spent a lot of time throughout my life not feeling so great about myself. Whether it was feeling like I’m not where “I should be” in life, wishing I was better at things, looked a different way, made more money, was stronger, had less wrinkles, whatever it may be. If you say you don’t have these thoughts, I don’t believe you, but that’s a whole other blog post. Anyway, several months ago when Charlotte was learning to walk, she would take a few steps and fall, like every baby learning to walk. The thing I found most beautiful about the whole process was how after taking two or three steps and falling, she would smile, clap her hands, and say “yaaay”. She celebrated her success and didn’t dwell on the fact that she fell (or failed at walking). Wouldn’t it be great if we could all see life like that?! She also kept trying, and didn’t give up just because she couldn’t walk all the way across the room from day one. If babies were like most adults, no one would ever learn to walk!
So many people give up on their dreams because they have a minor setback, or don’t succeed immediately. I mean, show me a person who doesn’t want to be an instant success tomorrow, lose 20 pounds tomorrow, fall in love tomorrow…we all want instant gratification! Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way because we are here to learn and grow. Instead of beating yourself up, or hating aspects of your life, try celebrating each “baby step” you take along the way. Imagine if I said the kinds of things we say to ourselves, to Charlotte as she was learning to walk?! Imagine telling your baby/best friend/family member/spouse, “You’re such a loser”, “I can’t believe this is taking you so long to figure out”, “Why bother trying? Everyone is better than you anyway.” It’s totally ridiculous to think about because most of us (with a heart), would never dream of berating those we love with the kinds of things we tell ourselves on a daily basis!
If you can, try and treat yourself like your best friend. After all, how can we expect others to love us, if we don’t love ourselves? Celebrate your successes…even the things that may seem small to you…like reading this blog post to try and help better yourself!
Love to you all!!
