Last weekend, I had my twenty year high school reunion. In addition to me having to wrap my head around the fact that I’m old enough to say I did anything twenty years ago, the thing that surprised me most was the wave of emotions I had leading up to it and after.
With all that I have learned, I am well aware that our childhoods affect us tremendously. Regressing almost comes naturally to most people. The thoughts I had leading up to the event were almost comical when I was able to just observe them. What would I wear? Who was going to be there? Who would I talk to? If I decide not to go, would I be missing out? It literally was as if I were sixteen again. Fortunately, I’m in a place where I can easily just notice my thoughts, rather than get consumed by them, but they were there nonetheless, even though I am no longer anything like my sixteen year old self.
Long story short, I ended up having a fabulous and fun night. It was so great seeing people I hadn’t spent time with in years, and the night far exceeded my not-so-great expectations. The thing that stood out to me most after a bunch of similar conversations, was how completely off people’s perceptions of themselves and others were back in 1995. How could someone whose strong sense of self I admired, have actually felt so afraid and self conscious? How is it possible someone I saw as so adorable, could have felt so unattractive? Why did someone with the most amazing personality, think people found her annoying?
We’ve all heard people say, “Perception is reality,” but in truth, it doesn’t have to be. The only reason these perceptions became reality, was because the people thinking these thoughts, believed their own lies. Let me share a little something with you…in most cases, your perception is actually no where near reality. It only becomes reality if you never learn to question those perceptions (your thoughts and what you make everything mean).
You assume your boss doesn’t respect you because he gave someone else a big project. Isn’t it possible he just didn’t know you were interested in the extra workload? You decide your partner doesn’t care about you enough because he or she forgot about something, but don’t you have a ton of evidence to prove the contrary? You are certain that person you are interested in, doesn’t like you because your body isn’t perfect, but is it feasible he or she isn’t emotionally available?
You can always make assumptions about yourself, other people, and circumstances. Things get complicated though because the human mind tends to almost immediately jump to the negative if not properly trained. When you buy into those negative notions, you feel crappy, and then tend to act in a manner that in most cases makes your perception become your reality. Like attracting like, quantum physics, manifesting, intending, self fulfilling prophesy, call it what you like. This is how your perception becomes reality, when in almost all cases it’s not the TRUE reality.
If I could go back in time and teach my teenage self and her friends, one thing, it would be to not always believe what you think. I know I say it a lot, but it’s so so so important, and can be life altering when fully understood. Going to my high school reunion shone a huge spotlight on this very fact. It’s never too late to start trying to understand this concept.
If your thoughts about yourself, others, and/or the circumstances in life don’t feel so great, question them. It’s up to you to decide if you want your perceptions to become your reality. Choose your thoughts wisely!
Happy day everyone!!
P.S.-This post is dedicated to my fellow Orange High School class of ’95. Without all of you, I may not be the person who I am today 🙂
