A belief is just a repeated thought, so if you think something enough, eventually you will believe it. It’s like when someone lies about something for so long, and they actually believe their own lie. If you tell yourself you look fat/old/tired every time you look in the mirror, this will be something you believe to be true. What if you started a practice of repeating thoughts about how amazing you are? I can guarantee, you will eventually believe it, and how great would that feel?!
People often choose thoughts that they think are protecting or helping them in some way. The intentions are good, but the outcome is almost always feeling crappy. People think if they hate their body enough, it will motivate them to lose weight. People think negative thoughts about others so they can reject, rather than be rejected. People have anxiety producing thoughts in order to distance themselves from difficult situations. People go around hating their jobs, so they don’t have to take accountability for not working as hard as they could. The list goes on and on, but the outcome is always the same…feeling worse because the thoughts we use to avoid feelings we are afraid of, are generally more toxic than just dealing with the issue at hand.
If you loved and accepted your body as is, you would be more inclined to take better care of yourself, which leads to permanent change. If you chose to accept another, rather than hate, you could feel connection and intimacy. If you didn’t believe your anxiety producing thoughts, you could just notice the thoughts without panic. When you accept the job you have, there is room to do your best no matter what, and feel proud, even if it isn’t your dream job right now.
Accepting and loving your body, others, anxiety, or job does not mean you cannot make changes in your life. That is a huge lie that many people walk around thinking. In fact, it does the opposite…it makes room for change. It comes from a positive place, which is key for lasting change.
In addition, the lies we tell ourselves often make us miss out on life’s greatest pleasures. The mom who won’t go swimming with her kids because of what she worries people will think of her body in a bathing suit, will never experience the joy of splashing around with ecstatic children. The person who won’t apply for a dream job because he tells himself he’s not good enough, will miss out on potentially scoring that job. The people who won’t allow themselves to be vulnerable in a relationship, will miss out on true connection and love.
I regularly say, “just because you think it, doesn’t mean it’s true.” Looking at our thoughts objectively just as we would with other people’s thoughts and opinions, is incredibly empowering. You get to decide which thoughts you’d like to believe, and the ones that make you feel icky, are almost always just your ego playing tricks on you. You are not your thoughts. You have the option to choose to believe thoughts that feel better, and to just notice, but disregard those that don’t feel good.
Would you keep someone in your life if they kept telling you horrible things about yourself that made you feel awful? Probably not. Would you tell a child that they weren’t good enough/pretty enough/smart enough? Probably not. So why is it acceptable when you tell yourself these things and you choose to believe it? It shouldn’t be. You can’t stop these thoughts from coming overnight, but you can choose to disregard them and focus on the things you love about yourself and your life. It takes some work, but it is well worth it and puts you in control of how you feel!
