Other people’s behavior at times can get under our skin (or our thoughts about it anyway). My guess is it’s happened to just about all of us more than a few times over the years. “He’s so opinionated, she’s so quick to judge, so-and-so is so selfish”—catch my drift? When it occurs though, there’s something interesting to ponder—”You spot it, you got it.”
I’ve heard this saying over the years from a few of my greatest teachers, and it can be quite eye opening. What I mean by this is sometimes the very qualities that seem to annoy us most in others, are the ones we possess and don’t particularly like about ourselves. We don’t always see it clearly though.
This week I was at a parking garage where I park my car about once a week. When I returned to get my car, there was a man waiting for his, and he was furious. He started ranting on and on about how the garage attendant had such an attitude. He said he was rude, and was was angry. He was cursing and told me he would not be giving him a tip because of his horrible attitude. He must have said the word, “attitude” at least seven times. Now, I wasn’t there when the two men interacted initially, so I didn’t see the exchange—but I can say, to me it seemed that the ranting, cursing guy, certainly had an attitude too.
If my assessment of the situation was correct, this instance is the perfect example of the, “You spot it, you got it” theory. I see it all the time actually, and regularly try and reflect personally, when I find myself feeling irritated and it involves another person.
Think about a time you really felt annoyed about someone else’s behavior—a time when you got all riled up over something someone else did or didn’t do. Maybe, just maybe this is an area where you could improve too. Do you get pissed off that your partner doesn’t praise you as much as you’d like? If so, think about how often (or not so often) you tell him or her how much they are appreciated. Do you feel angry when you get cut off on the road? Perhaps you drive erratically at times too. Do you feel annoyed when other people give you unsolicited advice? Maybe you also regularly feel to need to put in your two cents. Do you get upset when a friend is unavailable for you? Maybe it’s possible you don’t make yourself available for her.
Of course, it’s not always the case, but quite often it is—so when we find ourselves upset with others, it can be a great opportunity for us to look inwards. It’s kind of a fascinating reality at times. It’s one of life’s funny ways of shining a big bright light on areas in our own lives that could use a little attention. It is possible not everyone is out to get you, and not everyone is annoying, and rude, and unthoughtful, right?!
Here’s yet another chance for folks to stop blaming their misery on others all the time. In fact, noticing when you spot it, maybe you got it—can actually be humorous if you’re willing to laugh at yourself every now and then. I know when I realize it’s me with the issue, it lightens my mood, and even makes me giggle sometimes. And when we can find the humor in our own “flaws,” it can make it a little easier to work on our own stuff without the judgement.
That’s it—that’s all I got for ya!
Happy day!
